Today I visited Josefa in Guatemala for the second time, having visited in January 2013. Josefa is 17 and is the oldest of five children. I have been sponsoring her since the end of 2011.
I have said before that when we make the decision to make poverty personal and walk alongside people in the developing world, entering their lives, it can get messy. Today I was figuratively covered in mud from head to toe.
Josefa’s life is incredibly hard, but her mother has given me permission to share her family’s story in the hope that it can challenge and encourage anyone who reads it to know that you can truly make a difference in the lives of others through Compassion sponsorship. I hope that I can tell it in a way that gives this beautiful family the dignity they deserve.
Josefa’s father is alive, but he is an alcoholic and is absent most of the time. I met him in 2013 and he seemed nice enough. I missed the opportunity at that time to talk to him about his choices and encourage him to look after his family. This relationship has left a gaping hole in the lives of Josefa and her siblings aged 14, 12, 6 and 4. I could tell that she has been starved of affection through her life, and she clung to me and did not let go all day.
As a result of her father’s choices, Josefa has had to leave school temporarily and now works as a house keeper. She said many of her friends are in a similar situation. Her mother makes garments in her home and her 14-year-old brother, who is effectively the man of the house, works in a factory as well as going to school and helping his mother make garments. The three oldest children are all sponsored, which for this family makes a significant difference to their lives.
Josefa still dreams of being a doctor, but given that she has only finished 9thgrade and is due to graduate the Compassion program very soon, that looks all but impossible barring some sort of miracle. She has learned cooking skills as part of the Compassion program and will soon be doing a beauty workshop where she will learn all about doing hair, nails, makeup etc., in the hope that it can help give her a purpose and earn extra income to help her family.
Through our day together, I could tell that I was the closest thing to a father Josefa has in her life, and she confirmed as much verbally several times. This is not something I sought after or was necessarily comfortable with. I believe the role of the sponsor is to partner with the parents and the church to help the family become self-sufficient and released from poverty. However, it was clear that God had brought me into her life for this reason, so while I feel it’s a mammoth responsibility, it’s also a privilege and an honour I do not take lightly.
In the lead-up to my visit, I was equal parts excited to see the family again and also apprehensive about what I would find out about the family’s situation. I was hoping that things might have improved from my previous visit. As it turned out, they hadn’t.
I met my translator Mayra (who I requested again after having her in 2013) at the hotel in Guatemala City and we embarked on the three-hour drive up into the mountains. Guatemala is a beautiful country with breathtaking nature, but you do get the sense of the struggle the people face to survive, especially further away from the city.
We met Josefa, her mother, Project director and youngest sister at a restaurant called Pollo Campero (think KFC), but before that I fell victim to another of the enemy’s distracting tactics, taking my focus off the real reason I was there. Money troubles. I had not exchanged my money for the local currency at the airport so we visited several banks to try and do so, but were unsuccessful. I was frustrated and irritated, and this put a temporary cloud over my day.
Soon, however, the family members arrived and the visit was underway. We had a pleasant, enjoyable conversation. Mama is a delightful scamp of a woman; so happy and animated with a ready laugh and smile, despite her family’s circumstances. Of all the families I have assisted with Compassion, this one knew the most about me. When you write a letter to your sponsored child, often it is not just the child who reads it, but the whole family. Mama was able to rattle off facts about me and ask questions about things she had read in the letters.
The conversation soon turned to her husband. As she explained their situation and that things had not get any better, she was very matter-of-fact. I was amazed she was able to talk with no trace of anger, bitterness, sadness etc., all the emotions you might expect when a family has been torn apart. She said as a result of the family’s situation they still sometimes had nothing to eat, and had to go looking for food.
Mama’s constant gratitude for my visit was incredibly humbling. She nearly brought Mayra to tears when she said “I never thought I could eat in a fancy restaurant like this one.” While Pollo Campero is not cheap, it is one of the more common restaurants in Guatemala and certainly would not be considered by most people to be ‘fancy.’ Mayra said this gave her a wake-up call, as she hosts a lot of sponsor visits and as a result she eats there often and often complains about it.
After Pollo Campero I was able to take them shopping at the Walmart next door, for groceries and a gift each for the children. They emanated joy and thankfulness as we walked the aisles. Mama got me again when, looking at a trolley full of stock-standard groceries, she said “For the next few days we will be able to eat like kings!”
As the clouds descended and the rain started bucketing down, our second stop was the Compassion Project. There were no Project activities on this day, but we were met by several Compassion staff and their children who had prepared a special program for my visit. They were all dressed in the beautiful clothing of the different Mayan tribes.
I also met the other three siblings who had not been able to join us at Pollo Campero. There were dances, the Guatemala national anthem (which seemed to go on forever) and one of the ladies even sang the Australian national anthem!
Josefa got up and spoke with words of love: "I am very proud and happy to have my sponsor. I thank God for the wonderful things he has made in my life. I feel very honoured and happy because he went to a lot of trouble coming to Guatemala from far away. He has been like a father to me. I just want to tell him that I love him and I wish that this cannot be the last time I see you. Can I encourage you to keep dreaming, because if you have some dreams God is going to accomplish that because He is faithful to us. I want to wish my sponsor a wonderful time, full of love and health. And I want you to know that you are a wonderful man, and there are few men like you. And you are like a father to me…"
Next came a 10-minute photo session, where everyone in the place came and had a photo taken with me. My mouth was sore from smiling and, looking at the photos afterward, it turned out I was the only one smiling, as is the custom in many countries. We finished with some delicious tamales and sweet tea.
They also let off some firecrackers in the backyard, which scared the heck out of me.
We had a blessed conversation that was punctuated with joy and laughter. I got out my Australian football and we had a little play, and we also exchanged gifts. During this time there was a knock at the door. It was Josefa’s father. Josefa’s four year old brother kept going over and peeking through the door, but Mama ignored it and was adamant he wasn’t coming in. Fortunately he wasn’t persistent, only trying twice and then wandering off somewhere else.
Part of me felt awkward and uncomfortable at this. I imagined being the father, trying to get into your own house, in a wretched state, while some other man was inside enjoying a time of joy and happiness with your family.
I was able to have a good conversation with Josefa’s 14 year old brother. Such a brave kid. As I mentioned, he works in a factory, goes to school AND helps his mother make garments in order to help provide for his family. He is effectively the man of the house, which is a burden that no 14-year-old should ever have to carry. I told him I admired him and was proud of him. I encouraged him to continue to look to God for his strength and don’t follow the same path his father had.
We finished with a time of prayer and final words. I had thought long and hard about the words I wanted to leave with Josefa, and the family. I know that words spoken directly to a person can have a greater impact that words written on a page, so I wanted to make sure I was bringing her the message God wanted me to give.
So I left her with these words:
You are a very special girl and I love you very much. God has given me his love for you. I am so proud of you and you are very brave. Since I’ve been able to see into your lives, I admire you very much and I’m honoured God has chosen me to be your sponsor. I want you to remember one thing: no matter how hard your life gets, God has you in His hand. Always remember that no matter how much I love you, God loves you even more. So please always hold onto Jesus. Jesus has promised that in this life we will have trouble but if we keep our eyes on Him, He will help us through. Please hold onto that. I look forward to continuing being your sponsor and I believe that God has a special plan for your life and He wants you to trust Him. Keep on being brave, and I’m so proud of you.
I have said before that when we make the decision to make poverty personal and walk alongside people in the developing world, entering their lives, it can get messy. Today I was figuratively covered in mud from head to toe.
Josefa’s life is incredibly hard, but her mother has given me permission to share her family’s story in the hope that it can challenge and encourage anyone who reads it to know that you can truly make a difference in the lives of others through Compassion sponsorship. I hope that I can tell it in a way that gives this beautiful family the dignity they deserve.
Josefa’s father is alive, but he is an alcoholic and is absent most of the time. I met him in 2013 and he seemed nice enough. I missed the opportunity at that time to talk to him about his choices and encourage him to look after his family. This relationship has left a gaping hole in the lives of Josefa and her siblings aged 14, 12, 6 and 4. I could tell that she has been starved of affection through her life, and she clung to me and did not let go all day.
As a result of her father’s choices, Josefa has had to leave school temporarily and now works as a house keeper. She said many of her friends are in a similar situation. Her mother makes garments in her home and her 14-year-old brother, who is effectively the man of the house, works in a factory as well as going to school and helping his mother make garments. The three oldest children are all sponsored, which for this family makes a significant difference to their lives.
Josefa still dreams of being a doctor, but given that she has only finished 9thgrade and is due to graduate the Compassion program very soon, that looks all but impossible barring some sort of miracle. She has learned cooking skills as part of the Compassion program and will soon be doing a beauty workshop where she will learn all about doing hair, nails, makeup etc., in the hope that it can help give her a purpose and earn extra income to help her family.
Through our day together, I could tell that I was the closest thing to a father Josefa has in her life, and she confirmed as much verbally several times. This is not something I sought after or was necessarily comfortable with. I believe the role of the sponsor is to partner with the parents and the church to help the family become self-sufficient and released from poverty. However, it was clear that God had brought me into her life for this reason, so while I feel it’s a mammoth responsibility, it’s also a privilege and an honour I do not take lightly.
In the lead-up to my visit, I was equal parts excited to see the family again and also apprehensive about what I would find out about the family’s situation. I was hoping that things might have improved from my previous visit. As it turned out, they hadn’t.
I met my translator Mayra (who I requested again after having her in 2013) at the hotel in Guatemala City and we embarked on the three-hour drive up into the mountains. Guatemala is a beautiful country with breathtaking nature, but you do get the sense of the struggle the people face to survive, especially further away from the city.
We met Josefa, her mother, Project director and youngest sister at a restaurant called Pollo Campero (think KFC), but before that I fell victim to another of the enemy’s distracting tactics, taking my focus off the real reason I was there. Money troubles. I had not exchanged my money for the local currency at the airport so we visited several banks to try and do so, but were unsuccessful. I was frustrated and irritated, and this put a temporary cloud over my day.
Soon, however, the family members arrived and the visit was underway. We had a pleasant, enjoyable conversation. Mama is a delightful scamp of a woman; so happy and animated with a ready laugh and smile, despite her family’s circumstances. Of all the families I have assisted with Compassion, this one knew the most about me. When you write a letter to your sponsored child, often it is not just the child who reads it, but the whole family. Mama was able to rattle off facts about me and ask questions about things she had read in the letters.
The conversation soon turned to her husband. As she explained their situation and that things had not get any better, she was very matter-of-fact. I was amazed she was able to talk with no trace of anger, bitterness, sadness etc., all the emotions you might expect when a family has been torn apart. She said as a result of the family’s situation they still sometimes had nothing to eat, and had to go looking for food.
Mama’s constant gratitude for my visit was incredibly humbling. She nearly brought Mayra to tears when she said “I never thought I could eat in a fancy restaurant like this one.” While Pollo Campero is not cheap, it is one of the more common restaurants in Guatemala and certainly would not be considered by most people to be ‘fancy.’ Mayra said this gave her a wake-up call, as she hosts a lot of sponsor visits and as a result she eats there often and often complains about it.
After Pollo Campero I was able to take them shopping at the Walmart next door, for groceries and a gift each for the children. They emanated joy and thankfulness as we walked the aisles. Mama got me again when, looking at a trolley full of stock-standard groceries, she said “For the next few days we will be able to eat like kings!”
As the clouds descended and the rain started bucketing down, our second stop was the Compassion Project. There were no Project activities on this day, but we were met by several Compassion staff and their children who had prepared a special program for my visit. They were all dressed in the beautiful clothing of the different Mayan tribes.
I also met the other three siblings who had not been able to join us at Pollo Campero. There were dances, the Guatemala national anthem (which seemed to go on forever) and one of the ladies even sang the Australian national anthem!
Josefa got up and spoke with words of love: "I am very proud and happy to have my sponsor. I thank God for the wonderful things he has made in my life. I feel very honoured and happy because he went to a lot of trouble coming to Guatemala from far away. He has been like a father to me. I just want to tell him that I love him and I wish that this cannot be the last time I see you. Can I encourage you to keep dreaming, because if you have some dreams God is going to accomplish that because He is faithful to us. I want to wish my sponsor a wonderful time, full of love and health. And I want you to know that you are a wonderful man, and there are few men like you. And you are like a father to me…"
This is the impact of a sponsor. Words from the heart of Josefa:"I am very proud and happy to have my sponsor. I thank God for the wonderful things he has made in my life. I feel very honoured and happy because he went to a lot of trouble coming to Guatemala from far away. He has been like a father to me. I just want to tell him that I love him and I wish that this cannot be the last time I see you. Can I encourage you to keep dreaming, because if you have some dreams God is going to accomplish that because He is faithful to us. I want to wish my sponsor a wonderful time, full of love and health. And I want you to know that you are a wonderful man, and there are few men like you. And you are like a father to me…"
Posted by David Chalmers on Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Next came a 10-minute photo session, where everyone in the place came and had a photo taken with me. My mouth was sore from smiling and, looking at the photos afterward, it turned out I was the only one smiling, as is the custom in many countries. We finished with some delicious tamales and sweet tea.
The final stop for the day was the family home. As we went to leave the Project, Josefa’s father turned up, clearly drunk and soaking wet. This took me completely by surprise and I breathed a prayer as I waited to see what would happen. Thankfully, even in his drunken state his reaction was one of thankfulness to God and gratitude to me for helping take care of his family when he knew he couldn’t. Mayra tried to explain to him that the only way he could get better was to give his life and addiction to Jesus. He said he knew, but he just couldn’t do it. The addiction clearly had him in its grip. My heart broke for his five children having to witness this public spectacle.
This is something I have thought about a lot as a male sponsor. I can only imagine that for so many men around the world living in poverty, not being able to provide for and protect their family would be a source of frustration, resentment and bitterness. It is a humbling thing to have to ask for and accept help from other people, and goes against our in-built sense of pride. However, in my experience the fathers I have met have generally had an attitude of thankfulness.
We reached the family home after a short drive and on entering I saw that they had put balloons and streamers up all over the place. Mama said Josefa had got up early in order to do so.
This is something I have thought about a lot as a male sponsor. I can only imagine that for so many men around the world living in poverty, not being able to provide for and protect their family would be a source of frustration, resentment and bitterness. It is a humbling thing to have to ask for and accept help from other people, and goes against our in-built sense of pride. However, in my experience the fathers I have met have generally had an attitude of thankfulness.
We reached the family home after a short drive and on entering I saw that they had put balloons and streamers up all over the place. Mama said Josefa had got up early in order to do so.
They also let off some firecrackers in the backyard, which scared the heck out of me.
We had a blessed conversation that was punctuated with joy and laughter. I got out my Australian football and we had a little play, and we also exchanged gifts. During this time there was a knock at the door. It was Josefa’s father. Josefa’s four year old brother kept going over and peeking through the door, but Mama ignored it and was adamant he wasn’t coming in. Fortunately he wasn’t persistent, only trying twice and then wandering off somewhere else.
Part of me felt awkward and uncomfortable at this. I imagined being the father, trying to get into your own house, in a wretched state, while some other man was inside enjoying a time of joy and happiness with your family.
I was able to have a good conversation with Josefa’s 14 year old brother. Such a brave kid. As I mentioned, he works in a factory, goes to school AND helps his mother make garments in order to help provide for his family. He is effectively the man of the house, which is a burden that no 14-year-old should ever have to carry. I told him I admired him and was proud of him. I encouraged him to continue to look to God for his strength and don’t follow the same path his father had.
We finished with a time of prayer and final words. I had thought long and hard about the words I wanted to leave with Josefa, and the family. I know that words spoken directly to a person can have a greater impact that words written on a page, so I wanted to make sure I was bringing her the message God wanted me to give.
So I left her with these words:
You are a very special girl and I love you very much. God has given me his love for you. I am so proud of you and you are very brave. Since I’ve been able to see into your lives, I admire you very much and I’m honoured God has chosen me to be your sponsor. I want you to remember one thing: no matter how hard your life gets, God has you in His hand. Always remember that no matter how much I love you, God loves you even more. So please always hold onto Jesus. Jesus has promised that in this life we will have trouble but if we keep our eyes on Him, He will help us through. Please hold onto that. I look forward to continuing being your sponsor and I believe that God has a special plan for your life and He wants you to trust Him. Keep on being brave, and I’m so proud of you.
Beautiful post, David!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful and precious time you had with this family.
ReplyDeleteLove your parting words. I am crying at the story. Keep up your great work David!
ReplyDelete